Good evening.
It has recently come to my attention that like Natalie Imbruglia before me, I am accident-prone.
You must understand I’m accident-prone.
It all started last Thursday when my partner and I had actually moved into our unit.
After everything was set up, we had made a dent in the boxes and the fridge was cold enough to house alcohol we decided it was appropriate to go grocery shopping. As we meandered the aisles I was in charge of the trolley while my partner was in charge of the list.
This was a critical error.
Like a three-year-old child, I am easily distracted. This is sometimes fun as being easily amused means you generally find something interesting to occupy yourself with, however when you’re pulling a trolley behind you is not one of the times you appreciate the distractions.
One chunk of heel, a thong full of blood and a steady stream of red flowing from my foot later we left Woolies. This is where it all began.
Since that bloody day in the supermarket I have been kneed in the nose when frightening my partner resulting in a slight taste of blood in my throat, I have scraped my hand across concrete whilst scrubbing a veranda and hit in the ribs whilst, again, scaring my partner (I mentioned I was easily amused).
During today’s trip to IKEA I was struck down by my latest injury.
Despite being barely taller than a hobbit, I have delusions of grandeur and believe I have strength comparable to an ant. I was wrong and while picking up one of our many, new flat pack boxed furniture one slipped from my grasp and the cardboard sliced my forearm.
It hurt and I am now sick of moving and doing physically demanding tasks on my days off.
I do look pretty tough now but…that is the perk.
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