Welcome to what could go down as the most vitriolic, of my vitriolic rants about working in retail…today was hell.
Today was one of those days where all the factors are in the exact alignment to create the perfect storm. Like the movie, The Perfect Storm where a few storm cells joined together to create…the Perfect Storm, the retail horrors of no staff, jerk customers and faulty technology joined together to shit on my day.
It was so awful I had to be talked out of running upstairs, finding the store P.A and screaming down the microphone,
Luckily…I was restrained (literally).
Let me take you back to where it all began; I left the house at 9:20 this morning filled with hope that no one would want to go shopping and that earning my public holiday pay would be simple.
This was an extremely naïve thought. Kind of like when you decide it is going to be a “quiet night” when you go out but then awake with not only your worst hangover ever, but the worst hangover known to man…ever.
As soon as I hit the selling floor I realised my mistake.
I approached my counter to sign on to the till where I realised the EFTPOS machine wasn’t working. While it is great that it is physically impossible for me to process sales, there is a downside. Customers. You see, when explaining to a customer that the register is broken, before you even consider offering to take them to one that works, they blow up.
‘Well you don’t want to serve me!’
You know what, I don’t, I usually think in my head. By the sixth customer blow up this morning, I decided to actually work it into conversation. You see by the sixth person yelling at you while you are mid-sentence when you aren’t being paid by the skanky underwear brand they are purchasing, you really don’t want to serve them.
Not. At. All.
On top of the equipment failures, customers just seemed to be a little bit ruder today. (Now I won’t rant about my main issue with this just yet, I’m dedicating another rants to this issue alone). I had customers tell me the clothes my brand sold were ugly (look in a different brand then), there were no staff in underwear (go find a counter that is occupied by staff) and clicked over to someone (oh HELL no). They were not the worst.
The biggest dick of a customer award goes to an old lady shopping with her daughter and son-in-law. You see, they were in my section having a look and I approached them asking if they needed a hand. They declined. They then walked to a counter five metres from my section that was devoid of staff. The old lady then screamed my favourite word…SERVICE.
Um. What the hell?
When a staff member offers you assistance and you want to immediately purchase something, don’t palm them off and walk to a vacant counter. Ask them if you can buy it. Needless to say, I was angry. Hulk was brewing.
I walked over and in my most patronising voice said, “Sorry, when I asked if you needed a hand and you said no, I assumed you didn’t need my help.”
The old lady then began to repeat everything I said.
“This register isn’t working…”
She continued.
“…I’ll need to take you back around…”
She continued.
“…to where I first offered to help you and you declined.”
She continued.
“Can you please leave if you are just going to show that you learnt to parrot in your last seventy years on the planet?”
She stayed silent. Her daughter smiled at me and went red. I hallucinated diving over the counter and punching the mother.
The final straw on the camel’s back that was my day…no staff.
As I have explained, I am employed by one brand and one brand only. While I will help other brands if customers want me to, I am only paid by the one brand and therefore have no responsibilities or knowledge regarding other brands.
Being a public holiday, the department store decided against rostering on many staff and simply relied on people like me to pick up their slack. Today I was on a level staffed by five of the department store’s own employees; five employees that were expected to serve the hundreds and hundreds of customers that graced our floor today. I’d love to say it was naïve on their part but I know the truth is closer to them trying to improve the profit margin.
Thanks to the dodgy rostering, I was summoned all over the floor and expected to be a wealth of knowledge on everything stocked their before being abused for not being knowledgeable enough.
As I already said, today was hell.
Customers, you can pay for my rehab bill when I develop a drinking problem.
WHEN you develop a drinking problem? I thought you were already well along this path...
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