Customer Service Complaints: Clueless Customers

Our job, as sales assistants, is to help customers find what they want…and to highlight things that would compliment that product in a manner in which they feel compelled to buy more than they were shopping for.

This is pretty simple to understand, for customers and retail employees alike.

There is nothing worse however, than getting a customer who has no freaking idea what it is they are shopping for BUT instead of telling you they are browsing, require your assistance finding that unknown entity to fill the void that they have in their soul.

Heard on the Selling Floor

I just don’t get customer logic.

A lady and her son came into my section today and were looking at suits.

“Are these ones reduced?” she inquired about our new range of suiting on the back-wall.

RDOs Amigos: Wishing I Was There

Good evening.

It has recently come to my attention that like Natalie Imbruglia before me, I am accident-prone.

You must understand I’m accident-prone.

Bargain Bin Bonanza: Infinite Arms by Band of Horses

A friend of mine first got me on to Band of Horses a few years back (and they were played on The O.C.).

They were playing the festival circuit, and being as it was at the prime of festival ambience, I was still attending music festivals. (They have all sold out and attract the wrong types of people now…but that is a rant for another time).

Band of Horses were playing at a few of the festivals we were attending and one of my friends told me they were awesome and that we had to go see them. Being that there were no clashes on the timetables, I agreed.

Spotted on the Selling Floor: Bernard Curry

As I explained earlier, coming back from leave is always difficult and as such, I am generally quite grumpy for the first week or two back on the job.

This morning I was huffily walking around my section tidying up the six days of mess, no doubt scowling at anyone who walked within ten metres of me.

One of the unfortunate people that entered my section in the early hours of this morning was Bernard Curry.

Shop Boy Explains…why coming back from leave is torture

…why coming back from leave is torture

I have just gone back to work after six days off for moving / a wedding and can easily say that there is nothing worse, in the entire world, than your first day back at work.

It is absolute hell.

Shop Boy's Journey of Culinary Expansion: Chicken Pie

Anyone who knows me, know that I am a massive fan of baked goods. Sweet or savoury, I really don’t mind either way.

My favourite baked good would quite easily be the humble meat pie. Call me what you will, but to me, nothing beats a good old meat pie.

As much as I love pies, I have never been brave enough to attempt one at home. Each recipe is vastly different and after meandering through 20-odd cookbooks you begin to question the very foundations of what a meat pie really is and end up in the frozen food section of Woolies buy a 6 pack of pies.

Heard on the Selling Floor

Some people are just not good at human interaction.

A customer walked into my section.

“Hi! How are you?”

RDOs Amigos: Weddings

I love weddings.

I don’t know if it’s the fact that there are copious amounts of liquor, an abundance of desserts or the fact that two people are declaring their love for each other, but I just can’t get enough of them.

In the last two years I have happily attended five weddings, have MC-ed two and am now excitedly awaiting my partner’s brother’s wedding and my sister’s wedding later in the year.

How to...navigate a dress code

…navigate a dress code

There seems to be nothing more confusing than a dress code.

I don’t understand what it is; each one has a clear definition of what it entails. Yet at every occasion I go to that has a dress code, there seems to be somebody that clearly didn’t read the invite.

Spotted on the Selling Floor: Sylvia Jeffreys

After seeing Liz a few weeks ago I wrote that I was more inspired than ever to get a journo job.

I then went through a period of becoming an uncle, house hunting and moving and became very lazy and distracted.

This stops here. I am back. (Sorry if that’s a bad thing). I have been re-inspired by another shop floor visit by a successful friend.

Bargain Bin Bonanza: Far by Regina Spektor

I love Regina Spektor.

She is the perfect blend of kook, heartfelt and fun…which is the combination of traits I aspire to be made up of.

To celebrate my new life goal I thought it only appropriate to review one of her albums. That and it was the third CD that I bought in my 3 for $20 deal at JB a while back.

Being 24: Bigger Than Bieber

When last we met, I decided that acting like a child with ADD was a good option to bust myself out of retail, however sadly there is one thing I didn’t think about.

Getting in touch with editors personally is hard…very hard.

Yes, we are still on the Helen McCabe bandwagon.

Shop Boy's Journey of Culinary Expansion: Pumpkin Pie

My pop (aka grandfather) likes to keep busy. Some would describe him as being unable to sit still.

Despite this little fact, he is retired.

Now, when most people think of retirement they automatically think of relaxing, maybe some travelling, or doing things that they have always dreamt about, but never gotten around to.

Customer Service Complaints: Peep Shows

Majority of men, myself included, despise shopping.

Each day I am met with annoyed women who don’t know their husband, boyfriend or brother’s size and just wish the respective men in their lives would get into the shops and buy their own clothes.

Then there are the men who go shopping for themselves, grudgingly, and will try and make the trip as quick as possible. This generally involves them agreeing with everything you show them and leaving without trying anything on (which generally wastes more of their time when they have to come back…but that is another story).

Heard on the Selling Floor

Sometimes what I hear needs no introduction…

“I can’t believe she can’t tell he’s gay!”

“Oh, come on! She can’t even tell that she is menopausal.”

Wow…just WOW.

RDOs Amigos: Moving

I argued about two weeks ago that house hunting was more stressful than moving.

I am wrong and I am an idiot.

I mean, who goes on the record to say that moving isn’t the most horrible experience of your life?

Shop Boy Remembers: Chrismukkah Pilgrimages

At the request of my friend and fellow blogger Lyndal, I have decided to reflect upon my life in the final year of high school.

Picture it, Tweed Heads, 2005.

It was a time of disposable income; living at home with the parents, no rent, no car, no bills. Life was good, and as such, every week when we got paid Lyndal, Felicity and I would trek up the coast to Pacific Fair (or Pac Fair to GC locals) or Robina Town Centre to blow our earnings.

Shop Boy’s Journey of Culinary Expansion: Meatballs with Tagliatelle…now with fresh pasta!

At the risk of appearing like I’m not really expanding on my culinary skills let me preface. I have never made my own fresh pasta.

So yes, while I am repeating one of my all time favourite Nigella recipes there is a twist, in that I am making Nigella’s companion recipe for fresh pasta.

I’m glad we got that cleared up.

Customer Service Complaints: Rageaholics who shop on public holidays

In a follow up to Monday’s rant, I feel it best to deal with the major issue I had with customers that day. You see in Queensland, and most other Australian states, it was the Queen’s Birthday public holiday.

Being a public holiday it meant that all the people out shopping were enjoying a free, extra day off that all the employees working were not getting to enjoy.

My issue with customers that day is that they had the hide to be rude and aggressive with my fellow co-workers and me.

Spotted on the Selling Floor: Corey Parker

In honour of tonight’s second state of origin game I decided it best to take you back three weeks ago when Corey Parker came in shopping before the opening game of the series.

This caused quite a stir on the selling floor.

While most people were excited or stalking him in the hope of gaining a marriage proposal, I was simply perplexed.

Bargain Bin Bonanza: Pulp Fiction Soundtrack

I welcome you to the review of the second album that was part of my 3 for $20 deal at JB, the Pulp Fiction soundtrack.

This album automatically gets five discount stickers for featuring my favourite movie conversation, the Royale with Cheese conversation between John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson.

Not only has it provided me with a wealth of knowledge of what other names McDonalds burgers go by, it also is hilarious. Thankfully, the soundtrack as a whole lived up to the high standard of this dialogue and the movie.

Shop Boy's Journey of Culinary Expansion: Devil's Food Cake

After branching out and trying some recipes that aren’t featured in a Nigella cookbook, I thought it best to come home to the domestic goddess and the pure joy she gives me.

That and the Masterchef Nigella challenge last week made me all nostalgic…especially since it would have been filmed around the time I met her (I WILL write about that one day).

During the challenge the teams had to make five of Nigella’s recipes; one of the featured recipes was her Devil’s Food Cake from Kitchen. As soon as I saw the sleek icing sliding down the side of the cake, I was sold.

Heard on the Selling Floor

Sometimes customers just don’t make any sense to me.

For example, this lady approached me last week and said…

“I’m shopping for my son.”

Culture Club: Accidental Sodomy

Frente! had a song called Accidently Kelly Street.

Last night I had an experience I have labelled accidental sodomy.

How does that fit in the Culture Club? Well my friends, it happened at the theatre.

Customer Service Complaints: Today

Welcome to what could go down as the most vitriolic, of my vitriolic rants about working in retail…today was hell.

Today was one of those days where all the factors are in the exact alignment to create the perfect storm. Like the movie, The Perfect Storm where a few storm cells joined together to create…the Perfect Storm, the retail horrors of no staff, jerk customers and faulty technology joined together to shit on my day.

It was so awful I had to be talked out of running upstairs, finding the store P.A and screaming down the microphone,

Culture Club: Faustus (Queensland Theatre Company / Bell Shakespeare)

Faustus is the story of Doctor, you guessed it, Faustus who sold his soul to the devil for knowledge and pleasure.

The famous Doctor and his bargaining with Lucifer have led to countless plays, operas, films and novels and Michael Gow has drawn upon all that has proceeded him to create this schizophrenic little number.

The latest co-production from Queensland Theatre Company and Bell Shakespeare is awesome and I feel lucky to have had the pleasure of watching it without having to lose my soul for all eternity.

Spotted on the Selling Floor: Elizabeth Burke

Last week I wrote about the pain I was feeling over losing my friend Liz’s presence on the selling floor.

I think I am a sage.

Mere hours after writing about Liz, I was graced with her presence on the selling floor.

Shop Boy's Journey of Culinary Expansion: Tangy Lemon Tart

With the birth of my beautiful nephew, I decided that I should always take some sort of cake, slice or meal for my brother and sister-in-law whenever I visit.

I figure it makes their lives that little bit easier…and it’s hard to refuse a visitor that is bearing baked goods so I would get a lot of face time with my nephew. I’m a genius.

For the first visit I opted for a tart.

Customer Service Complaints: Flashing Your Cash

I’ve already complained about people that throw things on a counter that they wish to purchase.

It is an action that is filled with such attitude, is rude and I well, I just don’t like it.

There is one thing that pisses me off more than that however and it is the customers who insist upon throwing cash on the counter.

Store Soundtrack Review: Who’s that girl?

While I would love to be reviewing the song “Who’s that Girl” from the movie of the same name; that isn’t where this post is going.

You see, there is one girl who seems to have many songs on the store soundtracks and as I’m not a massive fan of current pop music (give me 60s/70s/80s/90s pop and I’m happy), I never know who the hell it is.

There is a song about air and a song about tattoos; as I like both and enjoy belting out a power ballad, I sing along…grudgingly.

RDOs Amigos: Hanging with my nephew

Mark it down; my last two RDOs are the best I have ever had.

Why?

I was lucky enough to meet my beautiful new nephew…and it was amazing.

Bargain Bin Bonanza: I Am Sam

I love The Beatles.

I mean...

I LOVE The Beatles.

What's in a break? Small Talk

Ironically for somebody that studied journalism, I am not a huge fan of small talk.

I know I should be and do get a massive thrill when I unearth a major unknown fact in a random conversation about nothing, however as a whole small talk with strangers is awkward and generally makes me mildly anxious.

Anyway, on Monday while making some small talk at the coffee shop while I was awaiting coffee I had the single most entertaining, enjoyable and straight-up strange conversations I have ever had.

Shop Boy Explains…why being on the phone at work makes me busy

…why being on the phone at work makes me busy

Let me start this post with a disclaimer; I am not talking about hanging out on the selling floor on my mobile talking to my mum. When I say being on the phone makes me busy. I am talking about when I am on the work phone talking about something relating to work.

Now to begin…

How to...deal with people that do not listen

...deal with people that do not listen

Sometimes I feel like I am speaking to a brick wall at work.

I don’t know if it is the fact I’m not telling a customer what they want to hear, or the fact they think I am lying to them, but every day I find myself repeating what I am saying because customers just do not listen.

Shop Boy’s Journey of Culinary Expansion: Linguine alla Carbonara di Salsiccia

In what probably appears like a controversial move, this recipe is not Nigella’s.

I know, what the hell?

It is however a recipe from one of my favourite chefs, Jamie Oliver. I love the way that Jamie writes his recipes and the free reign he gives you in the kitchen.

Spotted on the Selling Floor: Junkies, chromers and vomit...oh my!

This week’s Spotted is going to be taking on a different form, as I am not writing about celebrities I have seen, but strange occurrences.

I have said it before; clearance customers are a strange, strange breed and today I bore witness to some prime examples of why.

To say the standard of clientele drops during sale is a grave understatement however until today I never understood HOW low it actually could get.

Store Soundtrack Review: Ridin' Solo

There is one song that I both hate and love in equal measure.

That song is riding solo.

I hate it, because it is damn awful and hurts my ears.

RDOs Amigos: House Hunting

Everybody says that moving house is the most stressful time in your life. I would argue that house hunting is the most stressful part of the process.

We are currently in the midst of preparing to move house and spend most of our time trolling the internet for potential homes, thus the slower than usual publication rate this week.

As I am still awaiting the arrival of my niece or nephew, my partner and I decided it best to use our RDO to inspect places so that I’d be able to use all my RDOs for the foreseeable future to fulfil Uncle duties.

Shop Boy Explains…why I don’t need an explanation of how to process a sale

…why I don’t need an explanation of how to process a sale

With new technology, comes new ways for paying for goods.

With new ways of paying for goods, come new techniques for processing sales.

Heard on the Selling Floor

Sale time really brings out some special people.

Let me give you an example...

Today I was walking towards the escalators on my way upstairs. There was a sign to my left that read ‘You Are On Level One’.

Bargain Bin Bonanza: The Who: Then and Now

There are three classic bands that no matter what can put me in a good mood; they are The Beatles, The Stones and The Who.

I mean I also enjoy a bit of Toto, Dolly and Bowie to make me happy but to even mention that would mean I have digressed.

I have digressed.