I have begun to notice that a lot of my stories begin with the line, “Let me take you back”, and as such thought it was high-time that I dedicate a column to my reminiscing; and well, if it’s good enough for Bruce Paige, it is good enough for me.
As today is the first day of sale in one of our nation’s two major department stores, I felt it was only appropriate to reflect upon the god-father of all sale days…boxing day.
Let me take you back…
I was also excited because I had sunshine on the cloudiest day of every retailer’s life; I was working alongside my friend Liz, a fellow avid Christmas enthusiast.
A Christmas in retail is nothing short of hell on earth, and it is knowing that you have to front up to work on Boxing Day after one day off to thousands of screaming idiots…I mean customers, that makes it even worse. It is working with people like Liz that restores you festive spirit.
I singlehandedly thank her for helping me keep my Christmas cheer and avoid being carted away by police for punching out a customer on Boxing Day.
To get through the hell of Boxing Day, we decided to have some fun at the register and throw our “favourite” customer questions into banter between each other, rather than holding down a coherent conversation. For example…
“Hey. Discount?”
“Yeah…new one…in plastic.”
Throughout the day our banter got more off topic, customer got more confused and we were now residing at the most joyous counter in the entire store.
I have to admit that I was hoping that acting insanely would cause customers to flee our area and buy their goods at another counter, however it had an adverse affect, with one customer telling us that they joined our queue, which was longer than neighbouring counters, because we looked like we were happy.
While I was saddened to learn the plan had backfired, the knowledge that we had a captive audience only egged us on.
“Hey. Discount?”
“Yeah…this one’s a special lady. Special price, special lady.”
“Oh, yeah, of course.”
The day culminating in us trying to convince customers that some of our neighbouring brands were cheaper for cash…that didn’t go down well with our neighbouring brands.
I went home that night and cracked open a bottle of wine, not to drown my sorrows of a hellish day, but to celebrate the wonderful time I had at register #7145 with my dear friend Liz.
She has moved on to her career now and will never work another retail Christmas again and while that makes me happy for her, I am saddened to think how boring my Boxing Day will be without her if I’m still stuck in retail hell this Christmas.
Liz, you will always get a discount on new one…in plastic as you are a special lady and there is a special price for special lady and that is, cheaper for cash.
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