…the laws of “turf”
I was having an issue where someone I really didn’t want to see kept popping up at work. Yes, I work in retail…this is bound to happen. I understand that. It was when my locales in the vicinity of work, like my coffee shop, were overrun that I decided I needed to open up the discussion at work.
What’s your stance on turf?
Working in retail, a lot of time is spent talking about…anything. Throughout the fifty thousand conversations I have in a week, one or two are bound to end up as shop floor hot topics. Turf was definitely one of them.
Like the Jets and the Sharks before us, turf and what constitutes our ownership of said turf, has caused many a headache. I mean if two people used to frequent a certain place, who gets to stake their claim on the location and who has to forgo ever visiting it again?
I’ve always been of the belief that once a relationship or friendship dissolves, there are certain places that one immediately gets as their turf, a safe haven where the other person cannot go. In this belief, there are two very clear places that constitute turf, home and work. Now yes, I know this could get a wee bit tricky if you say lived or worked with this no-longer-acquaintance, but if you don’t, hooray! You have some immediate turf…end of story!
Things should only get difficult when the turf in dispute was a mutual location. Should one person be forced out of a place they like? I would love to say, yes…get them out of here, but I can’t. Survey says that if it is a mutual location, discussion is the rational course of action. You need to decided who’s it is or set up visitation rights.
But what do you do if someone is ignoring the laws of turf? If we were in the beat of Schrank and Krupke, of course it would be a rumble to finally end the fighting. However what do you do if you, a) aren’t from rival gangs, b) one of you isn’t Puerto Rican or c) aren’t really into fighting, and just want to live in peace? Do you talk to the person and explain the laws of turf or do you live through your life worrying you would have to see a person you’d really rather not.
Upon discussion at work, responses were many, but far from varied. Everybody clearly feels that each person has a right to a place that is his or hers, where the no longer acquaintance cannot venture. Now I understand, there are places that this can become tricky. Say, you work in retail; people need to buy clothes, should they really have to go without? We no, that’s kind of unfair unless you say, work in a major department store where pretty much everything is stocked in other outlets.
So with a general consensus reached (I’m saying it is a simple, stay away unless the person who’s turf you are encroaching upon gives you a verbal ok), we turned our hand over to the other issue. What if your coffee shop (or other regular haunt) is invaded? For me, this was the major cause for my stress. Losing the safety of a place I go to twice daily, every day, and have for four years was like watching the entire shop get raped and pillaged. All that was sacred was being ripped away, right before my very eyes (we’ve discussed my tendency to exaggerate…right).
I can hear you screaming at the computer screens, “it’s coffee you fool, get a grip.” But I’m sorry, this place to me is my non-alcoholic version of Cheers where everybody does know my name and I don’t even have to bother ordering. You can hate me, you can lie to me or you can say I’m a fuckwit; you cannot, however, get between me, and my coffee.

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