Let me take you back…it was March of this year. Neil Diamond was touring and I was not attending; needless to say, I was very upset. Neil has always meant a lot to me and I was not going to see him, the tragedy of what was unfolding is nothing short of Shakespearean.
Anyway, the day of his concert rolled around and I was glumly folding some shirts at the counter when a man approached with a bundle of socks; he had a thick American accent and mentioned being in rush. When people mention being in a rush I like to take my time. The theory being, if you’re in that much of a rush why the hell are you shopping?
“Oh, so what are you up to today?” I leisurely asked him while treating each pair of socks like they were cashmere and needed my full attention.
Well that piqued my interest…and got me moving a bit quicker.
“Neil…Diamond. Neil…DIAMOND?”
“Yeah, he forgot socks and wanted some. I’m his fashion manager.”
Sweet Caroline did this news get me excited!
“I love Neil Diamond. He makes me so happy…I don’t think you could understand how happy he makes me.”
I wanted to go into detail about how the two Christmas albums of his that I own had more influence over me than Mariah Carey’s Merry Christmas and it’s sequel Merry Christmas II You, but I thought I was at risk of losing his interest.
The sale finished up and being in a rush, he was off quite quickly. I realised it was now or never, I had to let Neil know how much he means to me…who cares if it was March.
“Tell Neil to have a happy holy, rock-and-rolly, Cherry Cherry Christmas of a performance!” I yelled after him as he left.
He gave me a strange look and agreed.
I don’t think he understood how exciting it was for me to have touched the socks that were going to be worn by Neil Diamond.
Not in a creepy foot fetish way…honest.
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