Shop Boy Explains…why 9 to 5 is my preferred shift to work

...why 9 to 5 is my preferred shift to work

Attention future employers (I’m looking at you Helen McCabe), my preferred hours of work are 9 to 5. Whilst I am willing to be flexible on this, allow me to explain why this is my desire in the hopes that you see how truly important this is to me.

Most mornings I struggle to wake up, generally because I set the alarm four hours before I start work, so this results in my tumblin’ out of bed and stumblin’ to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, first and foremost. Whilst this doesn’t have anything to do with actually working, it is the foundation of my day and enables me to yawn and stretch and start to come to life. After this I have the power to get the blood pumpin’ in the shower to the sound of the other folks like me, who are already stuck in the commute on the roads outside.

I’m sure you can see what I am doing here.

I really want to work 9 to 5 so that I can bring myself that little bit closer to Parton, Dolly Parton. Like Roger from American Dad before me, I want a way to bring myself nearer to Ms. Parton. While his plan involved rhinestones in hot pockets and purchasing Dollywood, my plan is simple, work the hours she so famously sung.

I have been testing the waters for the last six months and can assure you that my favourite day at work is when I’m rostered on from 9 to 5. Maybe it is the fact I listen to the song and have a boot scoot before I leave the house, maybe it is because it is on loop for my entire walk to work, I don’t know? Those glorious hours just seem to make the day a little bit better.

My love for this day could also have something to do with how much the lyrics currently resonate with me. I’m waiting for the day my ship will come in and get me out of retail. I’m barely getting by, working in a job that I find unfulfilling all to put money in the boss man’s wallet. Honestly, It’s enough to drive me crazy if I let it.

In conclusion, I would like to say that while in my new job (which will be the first step towards my often dreamt about career) I won’t feel like an oppressed worker; the song and the hours would remind me where I have come from…retail hell. I’ll be using my mind and always getting credit, it’s the better life that I’ve dreamed about.

Like Jenny from the Block before me, I’ll always know where I came from and by working 9 to 5 I will be inspired to be the best that I can be and to work like a crazy man (I think I have the crazy down).

9 to 5, what a way to make a living!