What’s in a break? Farewell Food #2

In the second entry in my CBD fast-food farewell, I decided to visit Oporto and Michel’s Patisserie to celebrate my entertainingly, fun-lovingly abusive friendship with Marcela.

She is Colombian, I studied Spanish for three years, and together we swore like troopers and attacked each other’s ethnicity out of love.

I assure you, it was out of love.

Oporto and Michel’s are the two places that stand out as the locations of our break time shenanigans.

Marcela was a fan of playing on her accent and pretending that she didn’t understand how to pronounce words correctly and instead spoke in a Spanglish hybrid. Oporto was the ultimate place to play into her games.

To give you a basic lesson in Spanish pronunciation. I is pronounced as a sharp ‘e’ (think the knights who say Ni, from Monty Python) sound as opposed to the exaggerated ‘I’ sound of English.

Anyway…we enjoyed ordering Bondi meals…and adding a slice of bacon.

“You have to say Bond-i meal, instead of Bondi.”

“Ok, you idiota…Hi. Can I have a Bond-i meal, please and thank you?”

The cashier would stare.

“A Bondi meal?”

“Yes…a Bond-i meal. Con bacon.”

I should probably mention that con means with in Spanish, and we enjoyed making rhymes in our order.

“Sorry…I don’t understand.”

“A Bond-i meal con bacon.”

“Bondi meal…with bacon?”

“Si…with a cock.”

That line was neither Spanish nor English for Coke but she always got away with it too.

Michel’s was our other place to lunch date.

While studying Spanish I learnt the word for Meat Pie and it instantly became my second favourite behind telenovela.

It was Pastel de Carne.

It’s a pretty basic phrase, not too exciting…unless you know that Pastel is the Spanish word for Cake, meaning the direct translation of Pastel de Carne is Cake of Meat.

Amazing.

Anyway…Marcela and I went through a phase of loving Michel’s Mini Pies. We however, preferred to order them as a Pastellito de Carne.

The staff were confused…and we thought we were hilarious.

I will miss being able to order random fast food in Spanglish to confuse the staff and I will miss the hours of joy that it gave Marcela and I reminiscing on how funny we were.