As I explained yesterday, when working on the selling floor you see and hear some weird and wonderful things.
This my friends, is the place I will share with you who I've seen at my store...there is no other store.
It has been a quiet few weeks on the selling floor, unless you count Nine Brisbane's Tony Fabris who I THINK I saw shopping yesterday (but feel it would be creepy to dedicate a column to who I thought I saw). For this reason, let me take you back to late 2009. A time when I was taking a farewell tour of UQ, then-PM Kevin Rudd was touring Afghanistan and Britney Spears was touring Australia.
Britney also decided to tour my selling floor.
I'll set the scene a bit better. It was Monday, a warm day...being Queensland that isn't too shocking, anyway I had gotten back from lunch with my co-worker when we saw a crowd milling outside Peter Alexander in the shopping centre. What the hell, I said to my friend. Is Peter Alexander signing pajamas? Is there a pre-Christmas sale? Then...I saw it. Three huge men that with a single look in my direction could crush me. Yes, they were bodyguards, and amongst them a small girl walking frenetically in our direction. Hot dang! It was Britney Spears...ya'll.
It was a moment in my life that I will never forget. A giant car crash was being dangled in front of me. There was just one thing I had to know, do I stay or do I go?
I went. I mean I'm not a crowd fan on a good day and if a woman is walking in my direction followed by hundreds of squawking girls...and a few squawking boys, I flee.
I got up stairs, confused and afraid. Why bother following around this woman? What is the fuss? She sung a few songs, broke a few windows with her umbrellas and lip-synced a few concerts...but at the end of the day, she is just shopping. What is the point?
Anyway let's fast-forward an hour, because let's face it my memory isn't that great. Word had gotten up to my floor that Britney had left after spending up a storm at our Womenswear counter. Despite ripping on her flock, I decided to go investigate what she had bought (I mean, hey, I may as well get paid to snoop). To my disappointment there were no hair clippers or umbrellas on the list my colleague recounted to us, simply bags, shoes, shirts...and a dress from a brand that is next to the escalators. I decided to investigate...and judge, on my way back upstairs.
I found my co-worker to escort me back upstairs and to help me find the dress. Needless to say, we weren't impressed. I recall the phrase "that is the ugliest dress that that brand has ever made...and they've made some ugly shit" being tossed around before we hit the escalator. It was at that point I noticed a guy standing in front of me with biceps the size of my thigh. That looks like a bodyguard, I thought. I looked in front of him. Oh god, that woman is wearing the ugly dress...I hope she didn't hear us. SHIT...that is Britney Spears, we were just laughing about her.
And that my friends, is the time Britney Spears heard my bitch about her. Awkward.
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